What amazing role models these athletes have had their entire lives. And one of my favorite quotes – which is what I tell parents about the sports journey, too – is Motherhood is a Marathon, not a Sprint.

In the segment Shawn’s mom talks about everything from keeping a balance to not being “THAT MOM” – you know the pushy one who thinks their child is the next Olympian and how she has been their for Shawn every step of the way in her gymnastics journey.  Add to it all, the adorable footage of Shawn as a little gymnast, and I quickly found myself reaching for a box of Puffs tissues!

I’m not sure if Shawn will make this year’s Olympic team, but regardless, I think she has contributed so much to the sport of gymnastics that she is always going to be a champion as far as I am concerned.

Of course, this commercial puts the athlete spin on things, but whether your child is an athlete in the making, aspiring musician, budding academic, or just an all around great kid, chances are you can relate to the commercial. And if you are not a Mom, you have a Mom and she probably was there for you every step of the way, too.

And before we start hearing, what about the Dads? Well, Dads do a lot of great things too, and in many cases the same things Mom does. I’m sure we will see Dads show up in commercials at some point this summer, too. Either way, our athletes can not do it with out us! It is a long road full of ups and downs – enjoy the journey!

Yesterday was the first day of spring field hockey practice for my 10 year old and she was so excited, she could hardly stand it! She had her new cleats on, new field hockey bag with sticks, ball and mouth guard ready to go. As we pull in to the parking lot it begins to rain – yet the sky is blue and the sun is shining – weird weather, but she doesn’t care, it is time to play field hockey.

We found her field and a few parents confirmed that yes, we were in the right place. I made a comment inquiring if the coach was there yet, only to get an immediate negative response from the mother standing next to me about how the team got assigned high school girls as coaches and then she went on and on about how they have never had a good experience with high school students as coaches. SERIOUSLY? She hasn’t even given these two a chance and could she have waited until I sent my child out onto the field before she unleashed her bitterness? After all, it is a Parks & Rec league you paid $50 for the season to play!

Every great coach was a new coach ONCE! (I sure was! I started coaching when I was 14 and still coach to this day, almost 30 years later.) Many great coaches started out just as these girls are – as high school students giving back to a sport they love – either as a part time job or for community service hours. Our Parks & Rec department doesn’t exactly pay its coaches, so it is not like the experienced adult coaches are flocking to the program to coach! A Parks & Rec season is the perfect opportunity for young coaches to get started!

Even though the rain was coming down, the two coaches had the girls start workout, did an organized run and stretch then started some drills. They broke up the practice, alternating between drills, basic conditioning and even a little game at the end to help the girls get to know each other. It really bothered me to listen to these two moms questioning why the coaches decided to have the girls do jumping jacks in the middle of practice or to listen to them belittle them for doing the name game at the end. It’s not like either one of them stepped up to the plate and volunteered to coach the team – and it was very evident that one of them had the experience to do it!

At the end of practice the coaches collected money for matching green socks, high fived the girls and did so with a smile on their faces. When I asked my daughter how she liked it, she said she had a great time and kept going on and on about how her coaches were nice, the drills they did and how playing in the rain at first just didn’t bother her. Personally, I think it is going to be a fun season – and I am looking forward to watching the athletes and the coaches grow together as a team!

My days of gymnastics are over. So are my long hours at the gym. My nervousness and anxiety. It’s all in the past. No more ponytails woven with ribbons, no more glitter spray, no more bleacher analysis. My daughter has left the sport.

For years, Caroline competed on a gymnastics team and she adored everything about it. Four days a week, we drove the ½ hour back and forth to the gym so that she could practice 15 hours a week, year-round. I volunteered, I chatted with the parents, I watched and learned and bit my nails. The parents became my friends, the meets became a social time.

Eventually after three years of this schedule, the complaints began: the coaches were too hard, she had a headache, she was tired, she had too much homework. Her message read loud and clear: she was burnt out at the age of 11.

So much attention has been given recently on the downside of focusing on just one sport at such a young age, that we overlook some benefits. Yes, kids miss out on the opportunity to dabble in other sports or activities. Homework is often done in the car or in the bleachers. Dinner is split into two meals: before practice and after.  She frequently misses out on seeing her three siblings compete in their own activities.

Yet as we leave the world of competitive gymnastics, I’m forced to reflect on all that it has given us. We’ve heard many comments lamenting our “lost investment” or pointing out all that wasted time and money we’ve expended (and it’s been a tremendous amount, don’t get me wrong) but it’s certainly not wasted.  By focusing so singularly on a sport, she’s learned tremendous life skills. Not the least of which is valuable time management skills – homework and friends must be balanced with the team schedule. Competing individually in front of judges has taught her to handle intense competition and scrutiny in a way that class presentations never could. She’s mastered stress management and developed a self-confidence that will serve her well in any type of public arena.

Her teammates have taught her about the deep bonds you develop with others who share your passion. She’s met some close friends and seen the good and the ugly side of competition.  She’s learned about nutrition, hydration, caring for injuries, pacing yourself and pushing yourself. All before the age of 12.

It’s humbling to realize how much of my version of her is wrapped up in her being a gymnast and how much of her identity involves her being a gymnast. It’s part of what defines her. This is the fine line that we must walk as parents: when to encourage them to keep going over a bump in the road, and when to guide them to another path. There are never clear street signs.

We’ve watched in amazement. And now we will watch as she walks away from what defines her the most. She’s young; there will be other time-intensive activities I’m sure. The gymnastics world will slowly fade away from our family’s routine. Life goes on. But I will be forever grateful to the sport, to any activity, that can inspire and push children to dream and grow.

Perhaps the biggest lesson that she’s learned is the one that amazes me the most. Because of her rigorous schedule, she’s developed a kind of discipline that some people only dream of: when she’s tired, she goes to sleep; when she’s not hungry, she doesn’t eat. And that’s a life experience worth learning.

Laura Amann is a freelance writer and the mother of four children. You can learn more at www.laura-amann.com.

Image source: Stock.xchng

It appears that the children in our society are more in danger from predators than many of us would have believed prior to the last few weeks. News of alleged inappropriate behavior toward children from coaches in college football, gymnastics and college basketball brings to the forefront the age-old questions, how do we protect our children from people who want to do them harm? How do we allow our children to reap the benefits provided by all the wonderful adults involved in youth sports while protecting them from that small percent of one percent of coaches with immoral motives?

First and foremost, our children must understand what constitutes inappropriate touching. But, if prevention is our goal (rather than reaction), we must teach our kids to recognize the signs of prepping and baiting used by adults to build relationships with children that may allow future abuse. What seems to be common to all the cases reported is that the children involved were allegedly set up for the abuse over a time frame of months or years.

Unfortunately, the things a coach tries to develop in a good relationship with athletes, trust, confidence, care and concern are the very things a pedophile tries to develop when “setting up” future victims. This forces parents, coaches and administrators to walk a very fine line between protecting our children and falsely accusing good people. But, it should also lead all of us to accept and implement certain guidelines that are set in stone and followed without exception. Doing so will go a long way toward protecting our children from that percent of one percent of coaches who want to do them harm and it will protect the nearly one hundred percent of adults involved in youth sports for the right reasons from being falsely accused of inappropriate behavior.

TEN STRATEGIES FOR PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN
(and their good coaches)

1. A coach should never be alone with a child, not before practice, not after practice, not during travel.

2. Coaches and athletes should never share hotel rooms when traveling.

3. Coaches should not provide special treatment to one or two athletes compared to the rest of the team. This could be trips to movies or ballgames, gifts, etc.

4. Team sleepovers should be supervised by multiple adults. Use common sense when considering the sex and number of adults supervising this type of activity. Make sure parents are involved.

5. Trust your child’s coach, but not blindly. Trust is something earned, not given. It must be continually earned or it should be taken away.

6. Parents should monitor their child’s relationship with his/her coaches, not in a conspiracy theory, witch-hunt way, but to simply confirm they’ve chosen good people to guide that part of their child’s life.

7. Everyone should report abuse when witnessed. Not hearsay or rumors, but if you witness abuse, REPORT IT!

8. Adults should intervene on behalf of the child when witnessing child abuse (if you can do so safely).

9. Children should understand what constitutes inappropriate touching and know to report it when they see it or experience it.

10. If you are one who is part of that percent of one percent who coach or get involved with youth activities for immoral reasons, please get help.

Note: Although these thoughts are presented in a coach/athlete mode, they can just as easily be applied to many adult/child relationships.

About the Author: Mark Folger has coached gymnastics for over 30 years and is  currently on the USA Gymnastics National Committee, and was the USA Gymnastics 2009 Junior Olympic National Coach of the Year. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in education from the University of Oklahoma and spent two years in graduate school there studying sports science (primarily youth sports motivation).

1. Put it all out there

Whether you use a whiteboard in the kitchen, traditional planner like the MomAgenda, or any myriad of technology tools we now have access to, get the week and schedules on paper. Color code it, use pictures, or use any other method that works for you but post the schedule somewhere so you can refer back to it and other family members can reference it, too. The other thing I did this year is take advantage of one child’s flexible schedule. My oldest has practice Monday and Wednesday after school until 5. My middle daughter has gymnastics on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. And my youngest is supposed to be at swim practice 3 days a week but they can choose their 3 days – so she will swim Monday, Wednesday, Friday so we can have two afternoons a week free (well, until my oldest’s high school swim season starts in November.)

2. Carpool

Let’s face it, the price of gas is getting crazy and our time is valuable. Check with other team members and form carpools where ever you can. Not only will it save money and time, the social time is good for your kids, too. A few years ago we carpooled with a family for gymnastics – I picked the girls up from school and took them to gym and my friend brought them home. We found that the simple routine and expectation of your friend going too, got rid of any complaints of “I’m too tired”, “I don’t want to go”, and similar episodes of whining. If you are going to carpool, make sure you do your best to pay attention to whose turn it is to drive, pick up times and be respectful of the schedules of others (as in try not to do last minutes schedule changes if possible).

3. Plan Meals

It is much healthier and more cost effective to feed your family at home than it is to go through the drive-thru window every other night. Take time over the weekend to plan your family’s meals for the week – taking into account schedules and staggered eating times. On crazy sports nights I tend to do meals in the slow cooker or meals that can be easily reheated depending on when the kids will have time to eat. Planning also pertains to snacks. Plan healthy mini meals that you can pack for your athletes to eat before or after practice. If you need ideas or some planning sheets, visit my RaisingAHealthyFamily.com site where I post my menu every week.

4. Walk That Fine Line

Let’s face it, without parental involvement youth sports just could not thrive. We need team moms,  volunteer officials and booster clubs, and we know that kids rely on us for positive support.  Get involved, however, you don’t want to be so involved that you are hovering over your child during practice, second guessing the coach or putting unnecessary expectations on your athlete. Don’t get wrapped up in the emotions of the day to day journey of sports – this is a marathon, not a sprint. Plus your child and their coaches are going to have good days and bad days – just like you do.

So as crazy as some days can be, take a little time to get organized, divide and conquer, and then you will be able to enjoy your child’s sports almost as much as they do!! If you have any strategies or techniques that you use to manage your children’s sports schedules, feel free to share them with us in the comments below!

As a parent, you can help make this transition time easier by:

• Make sure your athlete is going to bed at a reasonable time. Summer sleep schedules were lax at best around my house so it is time to recalibrate the kids’ sleep schedules. I aim to have my 9 year old in bed between 9 and 9:30 on school nights. She can sleep in until 7 so that gives her plenty of time to rest. My 13 and 15 year old have to get up earlier but don’t seem to need quite as much sleep so they go to bed no later than 10 – closer to 9:30 on night’s where the homework load is light.
• Make sure your athlete is adequately fueled. Long school days mean less opportunity for snacking but it also means that they will be hungrier when you see them after school. Start with a balanced breakfast – no a frozen waffle on its own does not count. Encourage your athlete to help pack their lunch or at least give you input so the chance of them eating it all is better.  If you are going straight from school to practice, make sure you provide a healthy mini-meal to refuel their systems (check our list of Healthy Snacks and Mini Meal Ideas). After workout try a tall glass of chocolate milk and a banana or bagel for immediate muscle recovery!
• Communicate with teachers! If your child is still in elementary school, definitely let their teacher know what days they have sports practice. Many teachers will be willing to give homework at the beginning of the week so that you can focus on homework on off days, or at least conquer the more time intensive pieces on non-sports days. For middle school and high school students, it is a great time to learn time management skills. My kids have learned how to take advantage of in-school study halls and extra class time to get a jump on homework so they don’t have as much to deal with after school.
• Allow for downtime. Be sure not to completely over schedule your child these first few weeks. Add activities incrementally and allow for some relaxation time. Time to read, play, enjoy family time and just chill is just as essential for kids as the sports they do!

As a coach, you can help by:

• Being aware of the transition that your athletes are dealing with. Just acknowledging the new schedule and challenges will go a long way to helping the children relax.
• Taking a few minutes to communicate with your athletes. When we start practice we have the girls all line up first so we can give them any pre-practice information, greet them and we usually go down the line and ask them each how their day was or some silly question. It helps the girls change gears and it helps facilitate the coach/athlete bond.
• Stressing the importance of school. Remind your athletes that school comes first. If they need an extra 15 minutes at the beginning of practice to finish up homework, give it to them. As the year goes on they will find their stride and will learn to manage the homework/practice balance better.  Allow athletes to leave practice early on night’s where they need to study for a big test or have a larger than normal homework load.
• Adjusting practice intensity. Know your athletes and know the signs of fatigue. The first few weeks of school you may need to adjust the intensity, number repetitions and lower your expectations a bit.

Years of experience from the coaching side and now from the parenting side have taught me that kids are resilient, they adapt and even the busiest schedule can be a positive thing – IF – parents and coaches are working together with the athletes as a TEAM.

Do you have tips for making the transition from the lazy days of summer back to the structure of balancing school and sports? If so – share them in the comments below! We can all benefit from working to support our athletes.

I have collected some great resources and checklists to help you decide if your athlete is ready for an overnight camp and what you need to pack.

• Let’s start with my printable summer camp packing list – one is specifically for gymnasts and the other one is for just about any camp.
• Mom’s Team has a good checklist for parent’s preparing to send their athlete away to camp
• PBS’s Bob Ditter on how to get kids ready for camp - the independence, maturity and mental preparation
• Jennifer O’Donnell has some good tips to help you determine if your tween is ready for an overnight camp
• TypeA Parent has another good article on how to make sure your child’s first camp experience is a successful one

Don’t forget to label EVERYTHING! Either invest in some good Sharpie markers or better yet, Mabel’s Labels has a Limited Edition Camp Combo™ that is perfect for labeling everything your child may need at camp.

What other tips do you have for sending kids off to camp?

Level 5 Gymnastics Bar Routine Perfect 10? – click above to view or watch on YouTube – I originally saw it on CoachingGymnastics.

For any gymnast, coach, judge or experienced gymnastics parent, watching that video will bring a smile to your face and probably a few head nods, too. For those of you who are not familiar with the way gymnastics works, you can still get something out of the video.

The premise of the video is that little Suzie got an 8.45 on her Level 5 bar routine. She thought she did great and in her mind, deserves a 10. As her coach breaks down the routine and points out the places where the judges took deductions, Suzie isn’t buying it and decides her coach is just being mean. And herein lies the opportunity for the adults in Suzie’s life to work together and teach her how to remove the “person” from the “gymnastics.”

Gymnasts and other athletes who perform in front of a panel of judges (ice skaters, divers, synchronized swimmers, competitive dancers and cheerleaders) need to be taught that the scores they receive are based on a list of criteria and how well their PERFORMANCE met those criteria at that moment for that set of judges. It has nothing to do with whether the judges LIKE THEM AS A PERSON or not.

I actually judged competitive level gymnastics (up to Level 9) for a few years and really enjoyed it, but it was hard. It is hard to take a mandatory deduction for a fall on beam when you know that gymnast has probably performed the skill 100 times successfully in the weeks prior to the competition. It’s hard to decide if the split leap is within the margin of error for the 180 degree requirement when you only have a split second (no pun intended) to decide and no instant repaly. It’s hard to go through a floor routine and make sure you correctly identify every skill and give the gymnast credit for the requirements of the routine and come up with the correct starting value.

But, like everything else, it takes practice. After judging up to 96 gymnasts in a session (then multiply that by 3-6 sessions on any given weekend) what has to happen is that you judge the body in motion in front of you. You don’t notice the pigtails or missing two front teeth. You don’t have time. You have to account for every skill and every deduction and make sure the score you award is within a certain range compared to the judge sitting next to you. You want the gymnasts to succeed. You’d love to give a perfect 10, because that means you just watched the most beautiful and technically correct routine of the day, but that rarely happens.

Does favoritism ever happen? Of course it does. Judges are  human. But, it shouldn’t and a judge who takes the position seriously will not let the color of the leotard, the size of the gymnast, or her personal tastes influence the job at hand.

And back to Suzie. As much as she wants to think her routine was perfect, the more important things to stress are:

• Have you been working on corrections from the last performance at practice?
• Do you understand what mistakes you made so you can learn from them?
• Did you try your hardest?
• Did you have fun?

Answers of yes to those questions are more important than the fleeting feeling of receiving a perfect 10. Scores matter, but the quality of effort and performance are much more important! Teach this to the athletes from day one and you will have kids who take that skill and can apply it to all areas of life.